There is no such thing as a perfect relationship
We were all brought up in the Romeo and Juliet story. We were told how great the three days relationship in that story was. The love was so great that it took the lives of both partners. In a way, the story is held up as the yardstick for affection between a couple. But people conveniently ignore that for all the love, affection, and attraction, the Rome and Juliet story is a cautionary tale that there are no perfect relationships.
Many things can go wrong in a relationship, and as most long-term couples will testify, a lot does go wrong. So, it is essential to remember that you are not perfect; your partner isn’t perfect, and your relationship isn’t going to be perfect. You have flaws; your partner has theirs, too. So, there is absolutely no way your relationship will be flawless.
You may want to argue that your favorite celebrity couple has what looks like a perfect relationship, but as divorce rates prove, you are simply too far away to judge. For the better part of 2022, Michelle Obama’s stories of how tough her marriage was set many tongues wagging on Twitter. Like the Romeo and Juliet story, Michelle proved that marriage wasn’t a bed of roses. She chronicled the struggles and differences between her and President Obama, and many people couldn’t believe it. I saw people who chose not to believe her, which sums it up.
If you want your relationship to last long and your love to glow forever, then be ready to accept that yours is not a flawless arrangement. The good thing about this is that it will serve to caution you against rude shocks and prepare you to persevere in the battles ahead.
One way to make your relationship last longer is to stop comparing your partner and relationship unfavorably with other couples you know. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is a sure way out of love. Every relationship has its strong and weak suits, but each time you look at others, you are more likely to see the good things in their relationships. This is because that is what you have subconsciously trained your mind to see. You also do not have enough information to judge their relationship accurately. You are not there when they have their challenging moments. So, you cannot judge accurately with just the good sides you
see in public.
But if you keep up the negative comparisons, you will soon whip up resentment and suppressed aggression in your relationship. I often advise people that social media is a place for happy people. Everyone projects idyllic lives on social media. So, who are the sad people that you and I know in the physical world? The truth is everyone wants to smell of roses in public. So, social media isn’t a good
place to find a comparison for your relationship.
Part of realizing that your relationship isn’t perfect is working on yourself. If you agree that you are not flawless, you will be more likely to work on your weaknesses that could have a negative impact on your relationship. You would also be more willing to lend your partner a helping hand as they
smoothen out the flaws in their character, too.
As a bonus, knowing it will not be sweet all through will make you mentally ready for the long haul. You will be less likely to bail out on your sweetheart if you have mentally prepared for the tough times. You will also approach your relationship in a relaxed mood, improving the chance of better understanding between you and your partner.
Finally, by not dreaming of a perfect relationship, you and your partner will most likely have the same expectations. You will not expect them to arrive Brad Pitt-style every second to save you from emotional distress. You will not expect roses every morning or vacation cruises every December. You will be able to deal better when they have sour moods or are angry with you. There will be missed important
reminders, unreturned calls, off moods, bad dates, and stormy nights. But by not expecting a perfect relationship, you will be in a better place to deal with them in a great way.
This article is an excerpt from the book “7 Golden Rules of Love.”
